This girl!

This girl!

Saturday, November 23, 2013

Ten things of thankful

What a week! With ups and downs, more downs than ups to be quite honest (you can find out why here). In weeks like this is when this marvelous blog hop comes in handy. Thank you Lizzi for having this great idea. Happy TToT 25th weekaversary by the way :)
It's going to be a challenge to come up with ten things but here is this week's list:

Ten Things of Thankful

1. It wasn't pneumonia: Sophia was in the hospital on Monday with what it seems like an asthma attack or croup, it's still unclear, but I am thankful that we were able to go home the next day and she didn't need antibiotics.

2. Hubby: One of the times he saw me getting frustrated he jumped in to take over so I could step out for few minutes and take a breather. I felt supported and understood.

3. I am a new american citizen: The ceremony was Wednesday, it was beautiful and they made me feel welcome to the country, I felt like they were happy that I am part of the american family:
4. My in laws: My husband couldn't go to the ceremony because he stayed home with Sophia, so my mother in law and her father came to be with me and stayed the whole time!! (it was 4 hours long!)

5. "Catching fire" is out: I read the three books and loved it. Can't wait to go a watch the second installment.

6. I saw my baby being herself today. Finally!: The week has been tough for all of us and Sophia has been very uncomfortable but today she laughed and played and behaved like her old self... at least for few hours.

7. Hubby and I are never sick at the same time: I am so glad one of us is always healthy to take care of Sophia if the other one is sick. I hope we continue with that pattern.

8. My husband's car broke down on Thursday but fortunately he was able to get home safely and over the weekend we got it fixed.

9. Thanksgiving week is coming up: Hubby is taking a couple of days off and we are going to get together with the family and eat delicious food and be thankful for all the good things this year brought.

10. Sophia's dad: She is a lucky little girl, her daddy took care of her when her mommy was becoming a citizen and he did a great job.
Well, would you look at that, it wasn't a difficult as I thought! (hubby helped though)
Have a great week!

Thursday, November 21, 2013

I wish she could tell me.

I have gotten to the point where I can see Sophia's strengths clearer than her limitations. I celebrate her progress and her reaching milestones. I see Sophia for what she really is: an amazing, sweet, brave, happy girl who has overcome so many adversities, a girl who made me  see life in a very different light and who I am very proud to the mother of.

But there's days like today when I don't feel that optimistic and understanding. Days when the fact that Sophia has her limitation hits me like a ton of bricks and it leaves on the floor with no arguments to lift my spirit and all I want to do is sob, sob until there's no more tears to be shed. Sophia got sick on Monday, I had to bring her to the ER because she was wheezing and she was having a really hard time breathing. They took her in right away and gave her breathing treatments and even though she was a lot better, they admitted her and we were discharged the next day. The wheezing is gone but Sophia is still not feeling great and is going to stay home the rest of the week. 
The fact that she got sick is not what made me sad today. This has happened just two other times when something is obviously bothering Sophia and I can't figure out what it is. She was very uncomfortable and I tried to meet every need, hunger, congestion, stuffy nose, temperature, thirst, pain... you name it I tried. She was not happy in her bed or my arms or the floor or anywhere. She was making this weird sound along with weeping and screaming. She looked at me like saying: "how come you are not helping me?" "Why don't you understand me?" and it killed me. I want to understand her and I do most of the time, but not today. We had a follow up appointment with her pediatrician and everything looked fine so I didn't think it was anything serious. She was mad, angry and very frustrated and my words were not soothing her nor my hugs or touch. 

This made me mad! I wish she could talk and tell me what she needs, I would give it to her in a second, anything she needs! I wish she could understand me when I tell her that everything is going to be okay. That it'll pass and that she is going to feel better real soon. I don't know if her frustration is because she knows that she can't make herself understood or because she doesn't understand why I don't get what she is saying. Either way it breaks my heart to see that look on her face and it's on days like these that I wish she didn't have a syndrome. I don't wish for a different child, I want the same beautiful Sophia just with a way to communicate her thoughts to the world.

I know it's okay to feel this way every once in a while and that it's even healthy to feel it and let it out. Today was that day and I did let it out. I feel better and Sophia feels better, in few days she will go back to her happy self and I'll forget that I felt like this, until it's time to let it out again.

I'll leave with a video of my baby being the happy, sweet baby that she is:

Saturday, November 16, 2013

Thankful me

So many things to be thankful for this week! Let's get to it:

Ten Things of Thankful

1.  My in laws: mi mother and sister in law have been baby sitting for us so hubby and I can go out on dates. Last Saturday we went back to the casino with more time and a little more money,which we lost but I am not complaining. We played the roulette and it was like in the movies, it was a lot of fun.

2. Great deals: I score a great baby video monitor for about half the regular price thanks to craigslist. It's great to be able to see Sophia and make sure she is safe in her big girl bed, plus I saw her getting out of bed this morning and she did a really good job.

3.  The weather today, it's the middle of November and it was 61 today!!!  

4. Cheap, fun things to do as family. We went to Bass Pro Shops today and had a lot of fun, Sophia got a picture taking with Santa (for free I must add), looked at a lot of Christmas decorations, had a nice lunch in their restaurant and got to see a big fish tank which Sophia loved:

5. My husband: He is away again this weekend and I miss him so much! 

6. Sophia is eating a lot!! Let me explain: she has been always smaller for her age but a few years ago she was on Pediasure supplements and we had to add butter to her meals to boost a little bit her caloric intake. Some doctors have asked if she had ever feeding tube when they looked at her charts but I can't be thankful enough that that was never the case and that she is off the Pediasure and getting bigger and bigger every day.

7. Pintrest: While it is time consuming and I can easily get lost in the wonderful land of organization ideas... I have found a few very helpful cleaning ideas, gift ideas as well as very tasty recipes.

8. Cuddling with Sophia and her daddy in the mornings.

9. Lizzi form Considerer, nominated me for the Liebster award. Thank you Lizzi and I promise I'll accept it real soon and follow the rules, at least most of them.

10. Last but definitely not least I am so thankful for Sophia's progress in every area, but specially walking, she is just doing so well, see for yourself: (I apologize for the 3 or 4 seconds the screen goes black but I had to put the phone down for safety reasons)

Thursday, November 14, 2013

Reaching milestones

When we have a baby, we can't seem to wait for the them to reach each milestone on time and when they do we are already looking forward the next one. We can't wait for them to sit up and when they finally do we can't wait for them to crawl, then walk and talk. Being the mother of a kid like Sophia has taught me to slow down and take advantage of the fact that she is taking the time to reach and master each milestone and really sit back and enjoy.
This week has been one of the happiest times in my life, I see that the surgery worked and that it was worth it. Sophia is more stable and really walking and cruising. There was a time when I wasn't sure whether she was going to walk at all, then I thought that she may walk with support, but this week I can see that there is a big possibility that Sophia could walk! On her own! I don't know how long it is going to take her to get there, it is in her own time, not mine and I am truly ok with that. I decided that I am going to enjoy the process, the cruising, even the bruises and the falls. And when she does walk I know I am going to celebrate with her that victory every day. 
I have learned that reaching milestones is not just about the final goal, but the journey to get to them. My job as Sophia's mother is to provide her with the tools to get as far as she can and to enjoy seeing the process to get there. The fact that I can accept it and really be ok with respecting Sophia's own time  is sort of a milestone for me too.  


Thursday, November 7, 2013

She just needs the means

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Sophia has been doing amazing the last couple of weeks. There has been a lot of progress in several areas: gross and fine motor skills as well as in communication. After the surgery and being a month in the cast, things were kind of on stand by but then all of a sudden she is crawling and moving better than ever, we can see that she wants to walk and is practicing and getting better at it. Sophia is also grabbing the spoon and tolerating assistance in feeding herself. She is grabbing her bottle and bringing it to her mouth at least twice each day which is a lot more than a few weeks ago. All these advances are proof that there's a lot more to Sophia and that her potential is far bigger than what we can see now.

There has been a lot of progress in the communication department which  I am particularly excited about. Sophia doesn't talk but she is finding ways to let us know what she wants. She makes different sounds and that's how I know if she is happy or if something is bothering her. She grabs my hand and puts it next to her spoon to ask for more food or sometimes she gives me a toy to let me know that she wants me to play with her. The other night she crawled to us and made a different sound while looking upstairs and raising her arms, it was very clear that she wanted us to take her to bed. Most of the time, I can get what she wants to say but when there's something specific that she needs we both get lost in the frustration.

We need a tool. The desire is there, Sophia wants to communicate and knows that in order to get what she wants or needs she needs to let me know somehow. At the end of last year, we got approved for an iPad and an app. Unfortunately there have been delays and we haven't been able to start using it. I am working on it and as of today it seems like we are going to be able to start next week. But we need something now, Sophia wants to communicate and she is so ready.

This is what her teacher and I came up with:
 She does very good with pictures, much better than with drawings or icons. Real pictures mean something to her and she can relate to them. She can look at picture of a toy and then look for it, I can give her two pictures of two different toys so she can make a choice and she does:
At school she holds a picture of my car and she knows that it's time to go home and looks at the door. This system seems to work but the ultimate goal is for her to take initiative and grab a picture of whatever it is that she wants and gives it to me. It's a lot of work and it takes a lot of patience and consistency but Sophia is worth it and I know, with my all heart I know, that she is going to do it. Sophia wants to communicate with the world, she just need the means to do it.

Sunday, November 3, 2013

Ten things of thankful

I know, I skipped last week but please know that when that happens it's never for lack of good things in my life but because I really think there is not enough hours in the day. This week I am a little less tired than last week so here is my list:

Ten Things of Thankful

1. Sophia's recovery from surgery: It hasn't been a month after taking the cast off and each day she is better than the day before. She is still a little stiff but she is back to crawling all over the house and kneeling and standing with support. On Monday we are trying the walker and I am sure that she is going to be back where she was before the surgery in no time.

2. Quality time with the in-laws: It had been a while since the last time we all got together and we finally did last weekend and had a really great time. We carved pumpkins, toasted the seeds and ate pizza, good times! The pumpkins came out great:
3. I decided to dress Sophia up and take her to Eric's company Halloween party. I figured I would feel different there with a lot of kids of different ages than at my friend's party (you can read about this HERE) and I was right, we had a good time and Sophia loved visiting daddy at work:
4. My attempt to transition Sophia from baby to toddler was a success! She is loving her new big girl bed. (You can read all about it HERE)

5. The Red Sox won the World Series! at home!! 

6. The beautiful weather on Saturday: It's November and it was 66 degrees! I didn't think I could take Sophia to the park and go on the swing until next year but today was definitely a park kind of day.

7. Sophia's teacher and PT: they made it to the list again, they both are always coming up with new ways to help Sophia walk, crawl, sit, and stand better. They show me every single day how much they care for my daughter.

8. I still miss my husband: He was away for the weekend and even though I had a great time with Sophia I couldn't wait for my hubby to get home.

9. I made a pretty good lasagna this week, I am losing the fear to cook.

10. I am thankful for my sweet girl because... well, see for yourself: