This girl!

This girl!

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Hi, I am Sophia's mother.

Sure, my name is Natalia Frost, but ever since my daughter came to my life I am Sophia's mom. That's who I am. I know what you are thinking. You are thinking that I should not forget about myself, about my marriage, that Sophia can't absorb all of me, that I need something else to keep me sane. But you see, being Sophia's mom has given me an identity, my identity. Before she was born, I didn't know who I was, what I was capable of, how strong I could be, or how much love I was able to give.
It is true that being Sophia's mom has been the most challenging thing I have ever done, and the challenge does not get any smaller as time passes by. I remember a few weeks after Sophia was born, her geneticist asked me if I wanted to talk to someone, a therapist or counselor. I told her no, "I have this little human being who depends on me and she needs me right now, I don't have time to talk about myself." Time passed by and in every one of her 5 years of life, we have had to endure very difficult times, surgeries, evaluations, leg braces, hospitalizations, hearing aids, tons of doctors appointments, more hospitalizations and more surgeries. So yes, I kind of haven't had time to think about myself but please don't feel bad for me. I have grown personally, I am a better person because of Sophia. I am strong.
Now, that doesn't mean I don't suffer, cry (a lot) and ask myself "why me?" a thousand times. I understand that I need to take care of myself so I can take care of Sophia. In fact I am doing just that right now, writing about my story is very helpful. I am also in the process of getting a counselor to talk about things that are just too difficult to ignore. I am working on that so I can do my job as Sophia's mom better, so I can help her, so I can invest my energy and figure out what's better for her and how she can reach her full potential, to be a better Sophia's mom.

I need you to know that I am not one to say that I am happy to have a special needs kid, that I wouldn't have it any other way, that I am glad I had to walk this path, no, I am not happy that Sophia has to try really hard to do what comes really easy to typical kids. I am not happy that because of her condition every time she gets sick with a stomach virus or has a routine surgery, it takes her double the time to recover. I wish things were easier for her, for me, for us. But I am happy that I got to be her mom, Sophia is the coolest kid I know! She is a lot of fun to be with, she makes me laugh and when she is not sick she is the happiest kid ever. I feel so proud every time I get recognized at school and people say that my daughter is the sweetest girl and that they love working with her. Yes, I am  SOPHIA"S MOTHER, that's who I am, and I love it!



12 comments:

  1. Y yo, nunca imaginé tu gran potencial, te amaba, te amo y te amaré siempre, soñé un futuro maravilloso para ti, claro, pero sinceramente no en la magnitud de lo que llegó a ser. Y si, gracias mi adorada Sofía, pudiste llegar a ser lo que eres ahora. Te lo he dicho varias veces, te admiro muchísimo, desafortunadamente no todos los niños con necesidades especiales tienen padres como los que tiene Sofía. Que aparte de aceptar lo que sus hijos son, aparte del amor que les dan, luchen día a día para ayudarles a llegar hasta donde su condición se lo permita.
    Te amo, te admiro, te respeto y en esta etapa de mi vida, soy yo la que aprendo de ti.

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    1. Mamita ya se lo he dicho, hago lo que hago y soy lo que soy tambien por haber tenido la suerte de tenerte a ti como mi mama. Te amo.

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  2. Natalia,
    Thank you for yet another gift of your insightful heart and mind - i looking forward to seeing your "new post" *)

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    1. Bambi, thank you so much so supporting me, always.

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  3. Mi nata siempre le inculcan a uno de niña un ejemplo a seguir , sin duda alguna y pasando por encima de cualquier sentimentalismo diría sin temor a equivocarme que mi ejemplo a seguir se remite a ti , muchas veces te lo he dicho tu fortaleza , tu entereza , tu capacidad de amar , tus infinitas ganas por hacer del mundo un mejor lugar para Sofía. Todos y cada uno de tus actos de amor han hecho de ella , de tu hogar un fiel ejemplo de que el amor no tiene límites , ni ataduras sencillamente es el acto más desinteresado por aquel ser que motiva nuestras vidas. Sin duda alguna nuestra hermosa Sofía ha inspirado en ti lo mejor que cada uno de nosotros como ser humanos podemos tener. En verdad mereces todo el reconcimiento por tu entrega infinita.

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    1. Ay amiguita, no sabes lo importante que es para mi escuchar tus palabras. Te quiero mucho.

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  4. Hay Natalia, me encanta leerte, te entiendo perfectamente en lo que escribes. El otro dia le decia a mi hermana que si Dios me diera a elegir entre una niña completamente sana o Isa, me quedaba con Isa y es como tu dices, yo no estoy feliz de que ella tenga que pasar por tantas cosas, cosas por las que yo nunca tuve que pasar porque estoy completamente sana, pero Isa es la persona que me ha hecho ser quien yo soy ahora, Isa es lo mejor que tengo, y mi hermana me dijo "hay tantas personas que vienen a este mundo y se van sin saber a lo que vinieron, nunca supieron cual fue su mision en esta vida, pero tu ya lo sabes, tu mision es sacar adelante a Isa" asi que ... pa lante..

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  5. It's so bittersweet, parenting a special needs child (or two in my case) Wishing you all the very best (Over from Love That Max)

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  6. I am autistic and I don't have any kids (I'm 13 lol) but I know how special life is bittersweet. It is bitter when people ask me for help when I do not need it and sweet when I have an achievement to call my own. Beginning band player of the year may only be a few words and a name in the school newspaper, but it is huge for me. It shows that I can achieve and earn a chair in the orchestra of life.

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  7. I can relate to this post. I'm not one of those mothers who accept their child the way they are. I hate watching Abby struggle to do what is easy for a 'on track' child.

    I also cant bear to see her have seizures. She doesnt have major seizures, she has mini quick seizures. Nonetheless the seizures do not help my half brained baby to focus.

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